People, I am a linguist, and this is what we do. We make up glossaries of the words used in a variety of different disciplines. For fun. Yeah, I know, they probably have therapy for that. But, this will be an explanatory journey so to speak followed by an alphabetical listing someday. This isn't a place to argue about beliefs but to clarify terms and what they mean to us. You don't have to agree on theology. (I personally find that I can learn a lot from all religions and love hearing about other's beliefs. Anyone trying to make sense of life and live it well, understand and follow the truth is truly on the same path. We can all learn from one another and depend on each other.) This is also the place to leave a suggestion of anything I left out or to ask what the heck that Mormon mommy was talking about on x blog the other day. For now, the terms are in all capital letters. You can just skim to find a term, or take the big fat tour. Of course, you can find all kinds of explanations on our beliefs and what a lot of these words mean at
mormon.org and
lds.org as well as all kinds of publications the church produces. You can even hear talks (sermons) in several different languages, which is really fun for people like me! BUT, you will not learn about funeral potatoes, or the life cycle of a Mormon, so if you want to know those kinds of things, you'll find it right here.
The tour through Mormondom: Here we go-
MORMON- people who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or things pertaining unto them and their religion. aka L.D.S.- Latter Day Saint. This doesn't mean saint as in Saint Francis of Asisi, but just ordinary people who follow Jesus, sort of like a synonym for Christian.
First, the organization. We have a lay ministry. The church does employ people in jobs. For example, you can get paid to work at a church sponsored school like BYU or to do accounting or any of a myriad of things that aren't directly related to church meetings and spiritual direction. But the organization is directed through the Priesthood and priesthood positions and church positions are not paid positions. The PRIESTHOOD is basically authority from God to act in His name. It is used to direct the affairs of the church and to serve and bless and perform ordinances. ORDINANCES are the ceremonial acts such as baptism.
At the head of the Church is the PROPHET. He takes his orders from the Lord Himself. He has 2 COUNSELORS and then there are the 12 APOSTLES. Together they oversee the affairs of the church world wide and act as witnesses of Christ. They are CALLED by revelation through priesthood channels. Once a person is extended a CALLING or position of any kind and they accept it, they are SUSTAINED, with the calling being announced and accepted by the congregation by show of hands to support them. Afterwards you are SET APART which doesn't mean you're shunned, it means you are given a priesthood blessing to help you in your calling. These first positions are full time life positions. These men and their wives CONSECRATE, in other words, dedicate or give up all their assets to the church and then are supported through that pool. The rest of the callings aren't permanent. (Every month you can get church magazines THE ENSIGN, for adults, THE NEW ERA for the youth, and THE FRIEND for the kids, with messages from the FIRST PRESIDENCY, that's the prophet and his 2 counselors, as well as other great articles. Every April and October the whole church has a big 2 day GENERAL CONFERENCE in Salt Lake in the CONFERENCE CENTER.) Next we have the QUORUMS of the SEVENTY. These leaders can be assigned to AREA PRESIDENCIES or have specific assignments around the world. A QUORUM is basically a priesthood grouping. The Area Presidencies direct STAKE PRESIDENTS who also have 2 counselors. These people have regular paid jobs outside of their church callings, so they are busy people. They govern a group of Wards called a STAKE (This is Stake, not steak, although they sound the same, which has led to some confusion at times. Some people were sadly disappointed when they were invited to Steak Conference only to find out it was a STAKE CONFERENCE and there was no meat at all). Now, WARDS are not wings of a hospital, they are congregations. In Utah, a ward is roughly 4 blocks square. In other places it can cover several towns. Some areas the members are much too spread out geographically so they have smaller congregations called BRANCHES. A ward is administered by a BISHOP and 2 counselors, which makes up a BISHOPRIC, a branch by a BRANCH PRESIDENT and 2 counselors, which makes up a BRANCH PRESIDENCY. Seeing a pattern here? They oversee the workings of the congregation. On each of these administrative tiers or levels there are also PRESIDENCIES (a president and 2 counselors) for the women's organization called the RELIEF SOCIETY and the teenage girl's group called YOUNG WOMEN and the children's organization called the PRIMARY, as well as the SUNDAY SCHOOL. Each presidency also has a SECRETARY to help with rolls and such. Bishoprics, branch presidencies and stake presidencies also get busywork like record keeping, appointment making, and minutes of meetings, and such done by WARD CLERKS, or BRANCH CLERKS, or STAKE CLERKS.
Now for the buildings. Let's just start our tour now with Sunday: The theoretical day of rest. We go to meetings :) We go to the MEETINGHOUSE or CHURCH BUILDING, sometimes also referred to as the CHAPEL since that's the most important room there.
Outside the church, you'll find a STEEPLE symbolizing worship, pointing towards heaven. Inside the church is the FOYER. This is where everyone mills around and makes noise before and after church. The connection spot.
Just directly across the foyer as you come in is the CHAPEL. This is the place you should be the most reverent. SACRAMENT MEETING happens here. It's called this because the main purpose is to take the SACRAMENT. You know, bread and the "wine" which in our case is water for a number of practical reasons, not the least of which is the word of wisdom. After the Sacrament, people from the congregation or Stake Leaders have been assigned to speak in advance so a few of them give a TALK. On the first Sunday of the month we have FAST SUNDAY. This is where we FAST, or skip food and drink from dinner the night before till dinner that Sunday. During the fast we are focusing on praying for a specific purpose, a blessing for someone or understanding, etc. We also give a FAST OFFERING which is a donation to help the poor. On fast Sunday after the Sacrament is passed, there are no assigned talks, anyone can come up to the pulpit and share or as we usually say in Mormon lingo, BEAR their TESTIMONY, or affirmation of truths they have come to know. Theoretically. Usually. Sometimes people get distracted. Makes things more interesting. :) After Sacrament Meeting, the children ages 18 mo. to 3 go to the NURSERY, the 3-12 year olds go to PRIMARY- the children's organization. Here they are split up into classes by age groups and have a class time and a singing time called SHARING TIME.
Meanwhile, the 12-17 year olds go to SUNDAY SCHOOL, the adults go to Sunday School too but the main class offered is called GOSPEL DOCTRINE. After this ends (and the air conditioning has turned me into a popsicle) we go to our last meeting. The men and teenage boys go to PRIESTHOOD MEETING, the women go to the RELIEF SOCIETY and the teenage girls go to YOUNG WOMEN'S. That is a 3 hour block in all! This is why we need a Sunday afternoon nap! Things used to be broken up into shorter segments. AM and PM meetings and other organization's meeting during the week but life gets hectic and our leaders wanted us to spend less on travel and spend more time with our families, so we do it all in one big marathon now. All these organizations occasionally do activities during the week anyways, like socials, classes, service projects, etc. The Relief Society or RS for short, is also capable of jumping in and taking care of a need like feeding the family of a sick person, or whatever. If you ever have a natural disaster in your area, the whole ward will spring into action and get busy organizing and helping out, offering refuge and cleaning up, too.
Now would be a good time to mention the other big buildings, the TEMPLES. These are for visiting during the rest of the week if you are a worthy adult member with a recommend showing you are doing a decent enough job of following the Lord that you are permitted to enter there. This place is sacred. This is what we also call the House of the Lord. Nothing weird goes on in here at all, trust me. I remember once someone on a news program who was suspicious of us claimed we do naked gymnastics over the altar as if it were a pommel horse. I never laughed so hard in my life. The bulk of the temple work is done by retired people and the thought of these old people vaulting around was just too amusing to me. Really, it is a place where the individual makes COVENANTS or promises to the Lord to follow Him and be dedicated to serving Him. Sort of like taking vows, if you will. The first set of vows are referred to as the ENDOWMENT. These are very simple, follow the commandments kinds of things, just kicking your dedication up a notch. The family is a huge thing for us and the temple, while it is for the individual of course, is especially for the family. This is where a family is SEALED together. Sealing is being bound together as a family unit for all eternity. This has a chain effect, like those old Breck commercials; the sealings join one family to another back through the generations and forward as new generations form families. That is why we do BAPTISMS for the DEAD, it is a precursor to being Sealed. The dead are endowed and sealed by proxy to their families as well. It is not about "making Mormons out of everybody" I don't think there are churches in heaven. It is about offering individuals the chance to choose to make these vows to God and to be bound as families forever to each other and to God. We believe the spirit of these individuals have the right to accept or reject the ordinance performed on their behalf. We do it to honor and serve them and it helps to reinforce what we did when we went through each of these steps ourselves.
Now we will step away from the buildings a sec and look at the milestones in a typical Mormon life. A baby gets a BLESSING, usually when it is about 1-2 months old. This is what many churches call a Christening. Next, when children are 8 and capable of being more accountable, they can be baptized. BAPTISM is done usually in a FONT but it can be any body of water. It is done by immersion, and symbolizes the death and resurrection. It is the first covenant made to follow Jesus. Shortly thereafter, the same day or the next day, the newly baptized person receives their CONFIRMATION, which is a blessing in which they receive the GIFT of the HOLY GHOST. Basically, that means you will be accompanied by the Holy Ghost to comfort and guide you as long as you don't shut Him out. After that the boys participate in the BOY SCOUTS including the FAITH IN GOD program. The girls also have a Faith in God program called ACHIEVEMENT DAYS. Next, when a young man reaches 12 he can be ordained into the Priesthood. First he is a DEACON, then as he gets older he can become a TEACHER and lastly, a PRIEST. These are positions of the preparatory or AARONIC PRIESTHOOD. During this time they are learning to do things like pass and then bless the sacrament among other things relative to being a good servant and hopefully learning that the priesthood is given to them to serve others and bless them and that it's pretty important to stay as worthy as possible so they will be better prepared to use it to bless others when needed. And since being prepared is it's motto, they participate in the BOY SCOUTS program as well. Meanwhile the Young Women are busy working on PERSONAL PROGRESS, a goal program to receive their Young Womanhood Medallion. It is a sweet program. This is the time to help girls learn to have a healthy self image as a woman, develop many talents and skills, be educated, develop spiritually and keep themselves clean to help prepare them for future motherhood, not to mention giving them the skills to be the backbone to those preisthood guys by keeping them in line. :). Mormon women rock (my unbiased opinion of course). The Young Women are divided in classes by age that are currently called BEEHIVES, MIA MAIDS and LAURELS. I forget why, I'll have to research that one. Usually anytime from age 16 on, a member can receive a PATRIARCHAL BLESSING which is a personal blessing, sort of a roadmap or special guide for your life, given by a PATRIARCH. There's usually at least one in every stake. Also, High School age kids participate in scripture study classes called SEMINARY during the week. Usually you graduate from that about the same time as you graduate High School. In areas where the Mormon population is dense (in numbers, not brain power, although sometimes there's an uncanny correlation) there is a seminary building adjacent to the school and kids can get off any one period of the day for seminary. There, the SEMINARY TEACHERS work all day and are paid as professional teachers. Everywhere else, we walk through miles of snow to the closest church building for a 6 am seminary with a teacher who got called to do it for free. Once you embark upon adulthood, things are a little more open ended. You can continue your Gospel study through the INSTITUTE of Religion if you like while you go to college or even if you don't go to college. Young men usually go on a 2 year FULL TIME MISSION around age 19. They are also ordained to the Higher or MELCHIZEDEK PRIESTHOOD as ELDERS. The young women can also be MISSIONARIES full time on 18 month missions from age 21 on. The full time mission has it's own lingo, which could maybe have it's own mini glossary, but all members have their own individual missions throughout their lives as well. This is what most Christian religions refer to as their ministry. Ya know the good old Mission Statement? Comes from Steven Covey, a Mormon. Once you embark upon a full time mission as a Missionary, or you are about to get married, or it seems an appropriate time in your spiritual maturing, you go to the temple to receive your Endowment. That is the vow thing I was referring to before. Hopefully, you choose to be married in the temple so you are sealed there to your spouse and future children. Then you just have to ENDURE to the END. That means hang in there and be as good as you can be till you die. Leave the world a better place. Many couples after they retire choose to go on full time MISSIONS together. Some missions are for proselyting, others are in temples or as service missionaries in a myriad of areas like running employment centers, family history centers, or teaching health or building or doing medical service, etc. If you don't watch out, you might get called to be a MISSION PRESIDENT for about a 3 year stint and have a whole mission worth of missionaries under your supervision. Then you REALLY have to ENDURE to the end, that's all I have to say on that one. When you die, goodbyes will be said at a funeral service, usually in a Chapel. These, while full of tears are usually pretty upbeat, a celebration of the person's life and of the gospel. The grave is given a dedicatory prayer and then everyone goes back to the church for a luncheon prepared by the awesome Relief Society. This is held in the GYM or multipurpose room.
There you have it, the life cycle in a nutshell.
Now for some other customs and curiosities of the sub culture.
FAMILY HOME EVENING- Every Monday night, the family has this meeting also known as FAMILY NIGHT, or FHE. Typically, after dinner there is a formal devotional meeting with a song, scripture, and message. Usually this is followed by a little family business such as discussing weekly schedules or rules, and then a fun activity ensues, followed by the inevitable treat or "refreshments". This brings to mind a common Mormon saying- FAMILIES ARE FOREVER, or FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER. Family nights are great, but when you have to direct traffic and control voices during the instructional time, or you are a small child trying to make it through that, it can seem like the saying is Family Nights are Forever.
FAMILY PRAYER and SCRIPTURE- Not only do you pray on your own, the family is encouraged to pray together at the start and end of the day, and to have a short time devoted to scripture study once a day.
SCRIPTURES or the STANDARD WORKS- Does it seem like we study a lot? Yeah, well, we have a lot to study. We read the BIBLE-the Old Testament and the New Testament, then we also read the BOOK OF MORMON which is the dealings of an ancient people on the American continent which supports the Bible and tells of Christ's visit to the Americas, DOCTRINE & COVENANTS or the D&C (NOT the medical procedure) contains the revelations pertaining to the restoration of the gospel during the early years preceding and following the organization of the church. Lastly, the PEARL OF GREAT PRICE is a small compilation of the translation of some papyrus that narrate some accounts of Moses and Abraham. Also included at the end is the account of Joseph Smith's
first vision. Lastly the Articles of Faith are included. This was a letter Joseph Smith wrote answering questions a Mr. John Wentworth had about our faith. JOSEPH SMITH was the first prophet of the restored church of Jesus Christ. THE GOSPEL- is the good news-that Jesus is our Savior, and all that He taught us. THE PLAN OF SALVATION or PLAN OF HAPPINESS, is Heavenly Father's plan for us to go through mortal life to learn and be tested. Crucial to this plan was our need for us to exercise our FREE AGENCY or right to choose what we would do when given a life here, separate from God, to learn to live by faith. Without it, no one could progress. Because of it, since nobody's perfect, we'll all mess up. That is why the heart of absolutely everything we believe in is the ATONEMENT of Jesus Christ. He made it possible for the whole plan to work. The atonement was brought about through Christ's love for us. That love and sacrifice are the hub that everything in the gospel revolve around.
HOME TEACHING- This is where the members of the priesthood in a ward are split into sets of two to visit each home of a Ward each month, just to share a message and get to know the family or person better and offer any service they can give.
VISITING TEACHING- This is like home teaching but this is two women visiting the woman or women of a home to do the same thing (more effectively) on a woman to woman level.
BROTHERS AND SISTERS- How Mormons refer to each other- as in Sister Jones and Brother Black, etc. Why? Because we are trying to remember that we really are all brothers and sisters.
COMPASSIONATE SERVICE- In the general sense, duh, if you feel compassion and do something about it, that is compassionate service. BUT also, if you have a baby or get hurt or sick or there is a catastrophe of any kind or a death in the family or whatnot, the wheels in the machine of the Relief Society start turning and soon the army is organized to systematically bring in meals or clean up or pack up or whatever.
This brings us to some cultural icons like FUNERAL POTATOES- This is a potato casserole made with diced or julienned potatoes and cheese starring as the main ingredients. It got it's name because it seems to inevitably be present at the lunch for family of the deceased, provided after the funeral. It probably has enough cholesterol in it to create a whole chain of future funerals, but it is truly delicious!
GREEN JELLO- Another icon that will show up at anything- a brought in meal to help others, a social, a funeral, you name it, for some reason, the green jello shows up so much, it is a the butt of many a joke and may be the state food of the great state of Utah.
RELIEF SOCIETY MEETINGS- FORMERLY KNOWN AS ENRICHMENT MEETINGS- This is a meeting organized by the Relief Society during the month for the sisters to help them grow. Any kind of activity with a purpose to help us better meet our needs. It could be a class, dinner, service project, workshop, whatever. We bond while learning something new like how to tune up a car, cook Thai food, teach our children, can food, put together quilts for a Children's Hospital, help fix a house, you name it- just about anything and everything have been done. Usually, there is food in there somewhere.
Speaking of food, FOOD STORAGE and PERSONAL AND FAMILY PREPAREDNESS are big hobbies, due to the fact that for a long time now the prophet has encouraged us to prepare for hard times by putting away dry goods and food items, water, etc for times of need. We are encouraged to be educated and be as self sufficient as possible. Some people can get way into this area and be prepared to the point of insanity, but our leaders encourage us to do all things with wisdom and temperance. So, if you live next to the guy building a bomb shelter in his basement, we're not all that zealous.
FAMILY HISTORY and GENEALOGY- We are encouraged to get to know our ancestors, search them out, be sealed to them and know as much about them and our heritage as we can. We are also encouraged to leave records of our lives for our future generations by keeping journals, saving important records, writing a personal history or keeping scrapbooks, etc, etc. This is one reason why so many of us seem to blog; it's a fun way to keep a journal!
The WORD OF WISDOM-This was a good piece of advice from God to avoid certain things like alcohol, tobacco and coffee and eat healthy foods like grains and fruits and vegetables. If we follow it we are promised physical and spiritual blessings. Treating bodies right is a big thing, since they house our spirits and things like addictions affect them so negatively.
RESIN GRAPES- These are just one of the silly oddities that came about through the women's organization. Since RS Meetings often involve making things, sometimes one thing will become popular and become something of a cultural icon. Thus the resin grapes. They were apparently made all over the place for an activity when I was small. They were a little centerpiece that were made by pouring colored resin into round molds and then attaching wire and making an arrangement with them that looked like a bunch of grapes. If you see one in someone's home, they are probably either Mormon or got it from one. By now they are antiques, but they have no real significance to our religion.
DESERET- A common name given to more than one business in Utah, it means Beehive which is the state symbol and represents how we are encouraged to work hard, be industrious, and work together, just like a colony of bees.
SEAGULL- Another name and symbol, reminiscent of an incident in early pioneer history. When the people first settled in Utah, their crops were being eaten alive by crickets and after much prayer, a bunch of seagulls came and ate the crickets. It might seem weird that there are seagulls in Utah, a landlocked state, but remember, we have the Great Salt Lake.
ZION- This is another name, but don't think the meaning really applies to things like Zion's Bank. It means the pure in heart. It is also the name given to the people of the city of Enoch. Our goal as a people is to be of one mind, no poor among us, and all that, so as a goal we often refer to the group of people as Zion. Just a goal. So not there yet. But we won't give up till we reach it.
MOLLY MORMON- A term used to refer to a Mormon girl or woman who does everything ; bakes bread, makes all her clothes, reads the scriptures every day, never has a hair out of place, etc, etc. : too perfect. I don't think anyone's ever called me that.
PIONEER DAY- This is a state holiday in Utah. Yeah. Love the extra holiday! It celebrates the pioneers settling in the Salt Lake Valley. It's July 24.
TABERNACLE- This is the building on temple square where the church's General Conference every six months used to be held. The MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR used to sing there. Now we have a huge new conference center across the street that fits the size of the church today better.
TEMPLE SQUARE- The block the Salt Lake temple is located on in Salt Lake City. A definite tourist stop if you ever go there.
DISTRIBUTION CENTERS- Where Mormons pick up lots of church supplies.
Acronyms:
RM- Returned Missionary
DI- Deseret Industries- an institution that sells second hand items of all kinds and helps receive and send humanitarian aid items all over the place. Similar to the Salvation Army.
CTR- Choose the Right
Well, if you read through all this and didn't just skim for a word you wanted to know, you could land in any LDS get-together and feel right at home, just like I do. I might like to laugh at the quirks and despair at our failings but I love this big crazy diverse group of somewhere between 13- 14 million people. More important than that, the truths I have learned and the personal relationship I have developed with Jesus my Savior and my Heavenly Father through the teachings of my faith have made my life richer than I can ever explain with words. You're welcome to visit, learn more about, or join with us anytime, and please feel free to share your religion and culture with me too!
Coming someday: an alphabetical listing of terms.
Any questions? Shoot, the Mormon lady is in.
Papi is the leader of the pack (when he's home :))
Enigma is the future beautician.
Gigio is the mastermind kind. Think "The Brain"
Carino is the athlete and Gigio's pseudo twin and antithesis. Think "Pinky".
Thing 1 is the whimsical one with a conscience.
Thing 2- The Bomb, not so evil but mischievous twin of Thing 1.
